Sunday, January 18, 2009
...I thought would've happened before the Arizona Cardinals played in the Super Bowl:
1. California would've fallen of into the Pacific Ocean.
2. I would've gone on American Gladiators and dominate at such a level that they would invite me to be a permanent gladiator under guise of the name Peaches; specializing in Rocketball, Joust, and just straight staring people down. My finishing move in every event would be known as "The Pit."
3. Mars would've been counted in the U.S. census.
4. Matt Leinart would've retired, become a broadcaster, and at the ripe age of 69 been a contestant on "The Bachelor - Seniors Edition" as they celebrate 50 years of pointless television.
5. There would've no longer been the need for glasses, contacts, hearing aids, or catheters due to scientific advances.
6. A Hawaiian would've successfully create an animal from Spam.
7. Osama bin Laden would've been captured.
8. Nintendo would've come out with new Wii controllers in the form of rubber fingers. The game "Minority Report" would've become a best seller.
9. Apple would've introduced the MacBook Molecule, 32ghz processor, 8 terabytes of ram, and invisible to the naked eye.
10. The Suns would've have won an NBA championship.
A big congratulations to the Arizona Cardinals and their fans. I never thought I'd live to write this post.
